The other day, a friend and I had a discussion about harem style anime and he asked my opinion of them.  Apparently it was far from what he was expecting as expressed by the following transcript.

M:  What is your opinion of harem anime?

Raven: Most of it is typical in its presentation.  Multiple females seeking the same male who either is oblivious to their feelings, too afraid of hurting someone's feelings to express his own and so comes across as indecisive and dishonest in my opinion, or the women seem unable to look around and choose another male who might have similar qualities and instead treat the single as though he's the only one alive on the planet.

M: Yeah, it can be vapid.  Unless if focuses on what is really the most interesting thing.  The female relationships.

Raven:To be perfectly frank such a situation already exists in a great magnitude within a certain racial demographic so I find it less than appealing.  Sometimes the shows are amusing but I've rarely seen one where the male lead is someone I could deem as worth the trouble.  I mean if he's not one of the above mentioned types, he's possibly a lech.

Raven: or presented as such.

M: Have you ever seen Shuffle?

Raven: I can say that I have not no....

M: The single most memorable scene didn't involve the male, at all... Predictable.  It was two of the girls talking.  The guy had decided to move in with a different girl, and the one that had done all of the cooking for the household was talking to her.

M: She was explaining just how he liked his favorite dish, and she began crying, but she just talked through the tears, getting the instructions across, doubtlessly thinking how not only would the meal that she loved making for him and watching him enjoy would never be enjoyed that way again, but when it was it will have been prepared for him by another women in a house and life of which she has no part.

M: The girls all know that in most situations one of them is going to walk away with everything that all of the others really want.  The happiness of one at the expense of all of the others.  Yet in spite of this, they seem to form sincere bonds and real friendships... I find that really fescinating and quite profound.

M: Thoughts?

Raven: It's idealized.

M: Would you care to elaborate?

Raven: Yes it's a fascinating scene to contemplate on its own, though the entire thought of a mostly female commune being cordial with one another while also working both against and with each other to vy for a place at the side of the male ultimately....it's a bit idealized.

Raven: I could understand if the women considered it and agreed to attempt something of a true communal relationship such as polyamory but they all seem to agree to a kind of uneasy truce that is still fraught with underlying competitiveness.

Raven: Usually in those situations you have the Traditional Girl who goes along with anything, is great at everything and is often given the role of peace keeper or mother of the group.  The Tomboy whom the male brings out the feminine aspects of but often may be mocked (even if in a supposedly friendly manner) by the other women.  The Flirt, the Ice Queen, the Loli, the Ditz, the Brain..

Raven: Each is simply an aspect of an entire woman...

M: That sort of social politicing has potential for agreat deal of intrigue of other sorts.  Even though you seem to think somewhat disparagingly of it (or perhaps because of that) you would be a wonderful addition to the group.  

Raven: Frankly I would simply like to see an anime or manga with that kind of set up where the male accepts responsibility for the emotional state his presence has produced and encourages the women in his life to become fuller aspects of themselves and learn to look elsewhere for the love he may not be able to give.

Raven: As oppsed to fleeing from it with indecision and causing more emotional strife in ways to the women or taking advantage of it by having them be at their best 24/7 to show him why they would be the ideal choice and all but pampering him.

Raven: Ah I'm talking mostly about harem animes.  I already assumed that anyone in your chat group was there of their own free choice.

Which is essentially the gist of it.  Yes I'm aware that harem style anime and manga are meant in good clean fun and as a way for the male to work through and find himself but in all honesty....it's just hugely disingenuous on the part of the male, ego stroking at its worst and unless they're magical beings charged with protecting the guy, a case of gals settling for the first guy to not let them hide behind their usual rigamarole.  

In short, go poly or find another guy.